The red sweater

It took me a year but it's finished. Actually it might have been done sooner but I just didn't feel the sweater-knitting vibe in the summer. But here is my sweet boy, dutifully trying it on for me.

Mom, I don't mind trying it on for you but I really don't want to wear it in public. I will wear it at parks and stuff, though.

Daylight Saving Time is over

A friend at the concert tonight asked me if Daylight Saving Time ending affected my kids. I said I didn't think so but that was before I saw this:

The continuation of scanner fun

From the cover of The Virginian:



Gary's family's drive-in between Rockwell City and Sac City, Iowa:

Memories...

It's gonna be a fun concert this weekend. Rehearsals Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and three hours before the concert Sunday. Church choir singing was a little less intense! It's not a Prairie Home Companion show but it is a Halloween concert with Garrison Keillor and Prairie Home Companion people that will be broadcast nationally on NPR next year for Halloween.

Chorus members have to wear costumes during the first half of the show and I was struggling to come up with something that I had around home so I didn't have to spend any money. I decided I could wear bike clothes and make a giant hypodermic needle out of aluminum foil and a paper towel tube and call myself a Tour de France Participant. Gary didn't think that was cool so he offered up one of his Navy uniforms, so I'm going as a Village People/a.k.a. Guy in the Navy.

In the garage search for his Navy uniform he came across a few momentos:

Experiment over

Mr. Bickerson has been out of town for the past few days, lying on a beach somewhere, eating yogurt. He hasn't traveled in a long time and I wondered if his not being here to get up before the crack of dawn might have the effect of the kids sleeping in a little longer in the morning.

The answer is no.

Everybody in this family is ready get up and get going at 5:00 a.m. except me. I'm tired!

Boo

Huh?

Uh, no it's not.

Boy stuck in vending machine

Again.

Previously,

Chippewa Falls, WI
Indiana boy
Austin, MN

Why are the girls not crawling inside these machines?

United

In old-fartdom.

I am not alone.

Speaking of a time warp

Dear Google,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to switch my blog over to Blogger Beta. I appreciate it. I really do. I am looking forward to trying out the new features. My blog could use a little help in the aesthetic department (not to mention the creative writing, grammar, and punctuation departments) but would you do me a little favor? I am old enough to be your mother. I am. Would you please stop labeling your interface buttons with language that starts with the exclamation Sweet! I repeat: I am old enough to be your mother and you are computer software. You don't need to talk to me that way to persuade me that you are a super-cool cat. You are. I can dig it.

I suppose I wouldn't be such a fuddy-duddy about this if I hadn't experienced another incident today that left me feeling like my mother. (No offense, Mama!) I was at Sports Authority, my go-to store for athletic wear. It's on the grocery store/preschool route. I am in search of the perfect winter jacket. I want one that's good for casual, freaking-cold-Minnesota, every-day wear, running wear, and perhaps 2007 Snowboarding Wear. The Winter of 2006-2007 is the year that The Bickersons are going to freaking EMBRACE WINTER! (Hank, just because your mother uses the f word it does not mean that you can. Got it?)

So there I was at Sports Authority, trying on every jacket on sale, and I found one that I liked. I noted the maker -- Burton -- and planned to check out the online availabilities as soon as I got home because I know I can find the same jacket for less if I'm patient. But I feel more that a little weird being sucked in to wanting something that was originally (probably) designed for and by 13-year-olds. It was. You want proof? Here's but one of the numerous pictures from its website. Proof.

So in conclusion, dear Google. You're cool and all and I like what you and Generation X, Y, and Z have to offer, but I'm old and you might want to tone it down just a tad so as not to alienate the old farts in the crowd.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Bickerson

What day is it?

Am I living in some kind of minor time warp situation? It's Monday. Why does it feel like Tuesday? I've made three phone calls today making plans for the week -- choir, babysitter, psychotherapy, the usual -- and I can't stop making the mistake that it's Tuesday and not Monday. Why am I a day ahead?

The world is full of crazy amazing people

Is it not?

Good night!

Chatterblocker

Mr. B. needs this at work. Will it work at home, too? Kidscreamingandyellingblocker?

Where did these !!*!&#* bugs come from?

I think our remodeling project (photo update here for interested parties) has stirred up some kind of freakin', tiny bug infestation. It started with what looked like one miniature fly about a week ago but today I counted a swarm of eight of the little creeps flying around my sink full of dirty dishes. Since God decided we don't deserve a nice fall this year can we just go ahead and have a hard freeze to take care of these irritating bugs? I'm getting mad.

62 shopping days to Christmas

Her needs are simple.

His are more complex numerous.

Countdown to Christmas!!!

Dooce.com

It pays to check out her links:

Skidboot

It's a reenactment

Hank was working on a crossword puzzle and was doing a nice job overall but I had to point out to him that pizza is spelled with an i and not an e. I could have left it at that but I am compelled to give my kids too much information so I told him that pizza is an Italian word and the sound "ee" is usually written with the letter "i" in Italy.

Hank's response?



Pizza on Vimeo

Spelling game

This online spelling activity kept my kids entertained for a few minutes today. Not as exciting as Halo, sure, but lots more learny.

Minor epiphany

I surf the web in front of the TV at night while we watch the news. Sometimes I come across a picture or story to show or tell to Gary. I came across this tonight and had to show it to him because it is so darned cute:

Kitty in a Basket

He smiled and went back to the news and I suddenly realized, He is a cat person, isn't he!

I said to him, "You're a cat person."

He replied, "Yes. I am."

It's a minor epiphany. One that won't change anything about how we live our lives. I'm simultaneously surprised and unsurprised, but I wonder why this didn't dawn on me a long time ago?

More good stuff from the conference

The Real Mother Goose is online with a .pdf available here.

Like crossword puzzles?

More good stuff from today's conference:

Puzzle maker

Free to a good home

Bullying

Next week is National Bullying Prevention Awareness Week.

The best continuing education money I ever spent

One of at least 1000 links to resources I got at a conference today:

Aesop's Fables: The Bat and the Birds

Power peas

Psychology of eating.

More words of wisdom from Cesar Milan

The Dog Whisperer:

They're going to throw up a lot of punches; it's what you do when they throw the punches.

He said those words while he calmly clipped the matted fur around the eyes of a snarling dog who previously fought any and all attempts at grooming. He had bandages on every finger of the hand doing the trimming.

I could use a little a lot of that mojo in my day to day parenting duties. Like this.

Cupcakes and egg yolks

I love her for a lot of reasons including:

Mom, when are the pupcakes gonna be ready?
Mom, aren't ya gonna crack up that 'olk when yer cookin' it?

On one hand I admire her quick thinking

The scene: At home getting dressed before church.

Don't you stick you tongue out at me, young lady.
I was JUST gonna get my TONGUE out and lick around my LIPS!

She didn't say "DUH!" after her statement but her sassy tone implied it.

Dinners with friends are surprising

Take my word for it, our neighbor Katherine is the least likely candidate in all of Golden Valley for knowing and singing out loud the lyrics to Little Feat's Weed, Whites, and Wine on a Saturday night at a neighbor's house. But there she was tonight, singing along with Gary and George at our dinner table. I must point out that there were no intoxicating substances aside from pizza in our systems so I know I wasn't hallucinating.
UPDATE:
Well excuse me. The premier Little Feat expert in our household informs me that the title of the song is Willin'. Noted.

Hank's room

He has a number of Post-Its with miscellaneous drawings on them stuck to the walls in his room. This one is up by his loft bed. Can you guess the name of his favorite show?


Hint: It stars the younger sister of a well-known singer/dancer-turned mother.

YouTube fun is over

Phooey.

I went searching for some Conan clips of Walker, Texas Ranger, and all you can find now is a red box at the top of the page saying the video clips have been removed due to copyright infringement.

The dollar store

New century Sanitarian thing!

I love dollar stores for the amusing labels. The kids love them because there's a good chance each will leave the store with some little piece of junk they can't live without.

Fall

Five days before the first snow...

VW update

I'm ready to buy a VW again because I just saw Nigel from Spinal Tap selling one! Now THAT's a commercial. Poor Slash has been outshone.

I'm fickle and easily manipulated by television. But who wouldn't buy a car from Nigel "It goes one louder." Tufnel?

Curses you, www.mightyblog.com

It's got me on a wave of searching beyond for stuff online that I don't need and can't afford. There appears to be an infinite number of items to be found on the internet that fit that category (i.e., don't need, can't afford). Luckily there is another category of things that don't yet exist that I will never need and probably will not be able to afford.

Like this. Who doesn't want one of those? You would so totally be able to stop the toasting process within a second or two of when your bread slice is toasted to the degree you like.

I like my toast lightly toasted. You?

Fall smiley face by Hope

Literacy

My eency weency attention span

I know TV is related to shortened attention spans but I think web surfing might be moreso. I'm always surprised by where I end up when I sit down to search for something specific. Just now I googled for electrical cord control, found a helpful link, and then went to its main page which has this cool post:

How small is small?

Beautiful fall colors

We confirmed today what we suspected: Four and six-year-olds do not appreciate going for a drive in the country to look at the changing leaves.

Geico caveman commercial influence?

Mom, why are there foxes in our neighborhood?

I don't know, Hope. Foxes live in the upper midwest and this is the upper midwest.

That is SO not COOL. Hmph.

If I wasn't so scared

of getting shot at downtown, (and scared of First Avenue in general), I would definitely go see TV on the Radio Sunday night.

Hieroglyphics, and one note that I kinda understand

More incomprehensible notes from Hope. I find these post-it notes all over the house. If only I could decipher their MEANING!
Hank wants to take Peggy to school for Show and Tell. He informed me that you need to write a note to the teacher in advance, so he did:

My new best friend

Most people who know me know it is a constant battle in this house to stay on top of the clutter and mess. We have dog hair, dirty dishes, never-ending laundry, broken toys, and piles of junk mail all over the place to contend with. Recently Peggy has added several degrees of difficulty to challenge of keeping the house presentable by vomiting around the house.

So this morning I made a quick trip with the vacuum around the living room before seeing the kids off to school. Imagine the joyful feeling in my heart when I brought Hope and her playmate home and her friend exclaimed, "WOW! This is the CLEANEST HOUSE I've EVER SEEN!"

I think I'm in love.

Notes and pictures

Hope writes 36 pages of notes like this every day and asks me to "read this one to me Mommy -- WHAT'S IT SAY??"

I have no clue but I try to make it sound reasonable.

And I guess this piece could be considered Hank's first school essay. It's succinct. What more needs to be said? I like it.

Lunch date

Hope and I dined with the 1st graders today. If I ever win the lottery I would donate some money to charity. One of those charity donations would go to the purchase and installation of acoustic foam like this to pad the walls and ceilings of elementary school cafeterias all across Minnesota. Dear God in Heaven it's loud in there. How does any elementary school teacher maintain his or her sanity for three days straight in an environment like that? I'm not a pacifist but I'm pretty nice and even I wanted to punch out the lunch lady after three minutes of being there. I couldn't hear two words anyone said to me but by reading lips, two children in Hank's class requested play dates a.s.a.p.

The food was fine. Hank preordered the "bagel bag" for his sister and me. He assumed correctly that, although I love me some Mexican cuisine, everyone should steer clear from an elementary school menu item called enchilada "bake." Thank you, Hank!

He and a friend were food assistants for the day which meant that they wiped the tables after the class was finished eating. In their haste to get to the playground they missed a few spots and drips. When I called this to their attention, rather than walk back to the cranky custodian and get the soapy rag, they proceded to wipe the remaining milk, cheese, boogers, and crumbs from the table with their shirt sleeves.

Oh, why the hell not? They gotta get to the playground, baby!

Volkswagen has jumped the shark

Gary and I just saw the Slash ad for VW and went, "Huh?" We felt like radical, newly-urbanized hipsters in 1998 (having just moved to the big small city) when we bought our Jetta. Never much for owning a fancy pants car, I was all "OOoooo! It's got a sunroof! And a bike rack! On top!" Guns and Roses is playing at the Target Center in the near future and someone's giving away electric guitars with VWs. I like a couple of their songs but if I go, I'll be driving our kick-ass Honda Minivan to the concert, baby.

Validation

It feels good to have one of my sometimes maybe irrational fears validated by objective outside sources.

I don't think I've had a complete night's sleep since Hank was born, with the exception of the three nights of morphine bliss I enjoyed when I had encephalitis. I get up a minimum of two times per night to check out noises and make sure the doors haven't accidentally come unlocked in the middle of the night. The noises usually turn out to be nature related and harmless. But I'm the checker-outer. Mr. B. thinks I'm looney about these fears. And even though I know there is really only about a 2% chance of something bad happening in the middle of the night I have to get up and make sure the house is safe.

Cut to our remodeling project. Our builder has suggested a TRAP DOOR in our new addition. YES! A trap door to hide stuff or PEOPLE in case of some kind of disaster or attack. Isn't that awesome?

Poor Gary hates how this kind of thing just encourages me.

Sweet dreams

I think he's dreaming up new names for his pigs.

What I accomplished today

The Bickersons love pizza so when I was at Costco today I thought how can I not buy this giant can of sauce which only cost $2? It's a six-pounder. I am going to divide this up and freeze it in small freezer bags.

This is one of the ways I earn my keep around here.

Bickerson conversation; abbv.

Me: Honey, it's okay. I appreciate fully that you don't like choral mu-

He: And I don't.

For those of you who DO enjoy choral music I will let you know when the American Voices concert will be replayed on MPR. Several composers of the concert pieces were in the audience. Libby Larson was introduced to the choir in the warm-up room and she had to have a little assist to get up on the podium to wave because she, like many Minnesotans (yay to Mary and Adam for finishing your firsts!), ran the TCM this morning, a beautiful but slightly warm day to run one. I didn't know she was a marathon runner but you can spy that post-marathon shuffle from several blocks away.

The concert was good. It was a hoot to stand on the stage at Orchestra Hall. One debate that raged backstage: Slip or no slip? Do the slinky black dresses adequately conceal white underpants? I know for my own self they do not adequately conceal night before Town Hall Fish and Chips with Jalapeno Tarter Sauce + Metrodome Frosty Malt Bloat. My friend, Jenny-from-the-block, recommends Spankx. I'm going to consider going that route.

Music related: Why can I find no recordings online of Dominick Argento's They Shall Hunger No More which was performed tonight by Cantus? It was my church service for the year. Never heard anything more beautiful than that. Never, never.

PS: Speaking of the Metrodome, $3.75 for a freaking 20 oz. bottle of water?? $6 for a bottle of beer?? At $2.75 the frosty malts were a relative bargain. I shoulda had two!

20 minutes to webstreaming

I'm waiting for KARE 11 to start the web broadcast of the marathon which started at 8 this morning. Mary should be passing FizzyLizzy's viewing point about now. It's a beautiful day for a run here in Minnesota. Hopefully the weather will be nice for Arnold, too!

We were at the Metrodome last night for a football game and while I was kind of feeling sorry for my not-running-the-marathon-ultimately-because-I'm-lazy self I was entertained by the remote-controlled camera that flies above the field during the game. I've decided I want to be a Skycam operator one of my next lives.

Skycam

Can you find the Skycam camera in this picture?