Thinking ahead

There are two jobs I gotta figure out how to get:

1. iMovie editor and burner. I burned my first ever DVD tonight and let's just say there was A LOT of down time. May I say that I really enjoy down time? I do.

2. Larry David. I loved Seinfeld. I love Curb Your Enthusiasm. I'm watching a documentary about Larry David and I've decided that he's who I want to be.

The eyes of the beholder

Mom, is it more important when you marry someone for them to be beautiful or nice?

That's a good question. What do you think?

Well, I know I don't want to marry somebody who has curly hair. Or glasses.

(I know he doesn't want to marry me but I point to my glasses anyway.)

Well, you know. Someone who's my age. Not old ... like you.

Funny

Defective Yeti

My family could use a scarecrow

Hmm. I can imagine many applications around this house.

Please help me

Please. Someone. Get this computer away from me. CAN'T ... STOP ... MAKING ... the VIDEOS!

HELP!

America's got 11 year-olds with talent

Who WAS that girl singing on America's Got Talent tonight? It was my first time watching the show and that little girl was like a song stylist savant! Freakishly good singing from a 5th grader. I guess you have to be older than 11 to be on American Idol otherwise we surely would have seen her there. Wouldn't we?

PS: I went to bed this morning at 2 a.m. after goofing with the new (to me) iMovie features. I was thinking I'm glad I don't have my CA friend's and Circuslunch friend's habit of getting up to run ungodly distances at ungodly hours. I needed to sleep so I let the kids watch a little early morning TV treat while I snoozed.

I apologize in advance if I bombard this blog with music videos of my family. I can't stop...

Will I sleep?

I can't quit the iMovie habit tonight!



Disorder in the House (Warren Zevon) on Vimeo

Ragbrai

Cheating (or not) scandal aside, we are going to have a cycling celebrity on Ragbrai this year. The possibilities are tantalizing! Will we see Lance at The Corn Woman massage booth? At the Pastafari Boys' booth? Will he pee in the cornfields with banjo accompaniment? Will he dance in every town to the unofficial Ragbrai theme songs: Strokin', Macarena, and Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy? Will he be participating in the naked beer slides that crop up every year?

It's going to be like Where's Waldo this summer.

Saving all my love for you

Wow. I can't believe they are in bed and quiet at last. Today was decompression day and the kids let it ALL hang out. I think they tried hard to be good while we were away and so today was kind of like one long screech of fingernails on a chalkboard. Marathon whining! Olympic quality crying! Ironman Triathlon complaining! It was a mountain stage of the Tour De Crabby-Pants and my kids are both wearing the polka-dot jersey.

Can I go back to the BWCA for just a couple more days? Please? Pretty please?

Vacation Do's and Don'ts

DO buy some of your camp food at Trader Joe's. There are many taste treats to be had there for reasonable prices!

DON'T forget to tell Grandma about her grandson's clown phobia and the need to maintain a 30 ft radius safety zone from any and all clowns.

Out of my comfort zone

Today is our last day without the kids so Gary and I decided that after cleaning up the camping stuff we would take it pretty easy. He bought a laptop replacement and went to urgent care for canoe-itis. I got the oil changed and went to the mall.

Do you hustle past the cosmetics counters in the department store to get to the Jockey underwear sale like I do? Like I used to do? Today I threw caution and modesty to the wind and I let those ladies (and one guy) have at me. Let the mass of curious shoppers stare at me and my post-camping/sun-damaged face while three professionals work their magic. See if I care. I now have a new foundation make-up SYSTEM. I am told that when the Sun-Kissed Bronzer (Step 3) is applied properly my "cheekbones really POP!" (He said so.) So when you see me next time, I expect to see a "your cheekbones really POP" look on your face. Okay? So be prepared.

Heavenly vacation

Now I know why Mr. Bickerson loves the Boundary Waters. What a beautiful, peaceful vacation! No cell phone connection. No crying; no fighting. Just peace and quiet. Oh, and a rainstorm/windstorm scare that had us holding on to the rain fly for about 30 minutes. Oh, also a White Castle digestive distress emergency. Remind me not to eat White Castles prior to a camping vacation.

More pictures here.

Later amigos!

Later amigos!
Originally uploaded by Mrs. Bickerson.

Camping preparations

I have some reading to do and I can't wait to see what Amazon.com "thinks [I] might also like" after that one.

My life coach

She said she would do it and she DID!

Way to go, Mary!

First week of summer vacation

The first week of summer vacation is almost over and I'm exhausted. It was a big start to the week. Hank has made it known that t-ball is his new favorite sport.



Hope said she didn't like shooting baskets but she really liked demonstrating her vertical leap for her coach. For some reason she has made it a goal to jump high. She practices jumping at home a lot and we are all encouraged to watch her.

Here she is -- jumping!

What was I thinking?

I love Nonni's Biscotti. Unfortunately you can buy it in a elephant-size plastic jar at Costco. I bought one last year because it was a handy snack to share with our play group and early childhood class. I knew then that I had very little willpower to resist the biscotti temptation. It's just plain dangerous having that huge container of cookies in the house.

So I was in denial when I decided to buy one again last week.

It will be nice to have a little treat to go with coffee or tea whenever a friend comes by.

Will be? Make that "would have been." Because they are gone now and I'll give you two guesses where they went. And, no, Peggy didn't eat them.

Fish cracker consequences

Actually, they kind of like to vacuum.

Spelling and reading

There is a downside to having a child who knows how to read and spell a little bit. He was helping his younger sister write and spell this afternoon and since she pretty much only knows how to write her name he showed her some words she could write using those letters.

HE
HOP
POP
POPE
and of course
POOP

She was pretty excited to find out she has all the prerequisites for writing that last one.

One small fit I can handle

Sports camp commenced today and my three-year old (who is supposed to be four for camp) did very well. It certainly helped that her two best friends from preschool were in attendance. The small fit occurred because the puppet wagon came and went while they were on the ball field, thus the kids were not able to enjoy the magical five-minute puppet show today.

Playing ball all morning has worked wonders in the nap department. Both kids are out cold! And the littlest one, who usually needs some kind of bed-tucking, wrapped her own self up and went fast to sleep.

I'm giddy with peace and quiet!

Monkey chow guy

He's done eating monkey food. I think we should all be happy for him!

Monkey Chow Diaries, Day 7

AARRgghhhh!

My friend, Fizzylizzy, added a great link to Websudoku which is an online sudoku game. I love the How am I doing help button and have to restrain myself from hitting it after each move. But -- dagnabit! -- the Safari browser quit as I was nearing the end of the puzzle!! Our laptop is about done when it comes to memory space and it has been shutting things down more and more frequently. Makes for a tense and exciting game!

(Think faster! Faster!!)

Three fits and you're OUT

We had a little family kickball game in the back yard tonight in preparation for summer sporting activities. Both kids will be in a mini-sports camp that includes beginning soccer, t-ball, and basketball. This will be the first time Hope has been in an organized group sports class. Based on tonight's performance it's going to be a difficult week. She cried because she missed the kick. She cried when she was tagged out. She cried when it was explained that you can't be up to bat/kick with the opposing team and you can't pitch to your own team. And then she cried because the game was over. I'm thinking she might be a little young for this. I'll report back later this week.

I like to eat

I like to take cookbooks to bed with me sometimes and read recipes and look at food pictures before falling asleep. I do believe this has somewhat of a cancellation effect on my self-hypnosis to eat less, but sometimes just reading a recipe is good enough and I don't have to whip myself into a baking frenzy and eat it all. Such as this recipe for Prune-Pecan Chocolate Mousse Cake. Yum! But I think I can live without baking it.

And the award goes to

This afternoon I watched a performance in my backyard that was worthy of an Academy Award. The kids and I were hanging around outside, tossing a tennis ball for Peggy, and enjoying the freshly mowed, yet painfully crispy-dry grass.

Hank (spinning upside down in the swing and feeling like a new kindergarten graduate) informed his sister: You know what, Hope? Sarah isn't going to invite you to her birthday party. It's only gonna be BIG kids.

I saw her eyes well up so I said: Hope, he's just trying to pick a fight. Don't respond. Sarah's going to invite you to her family birthday party but she probably will have a big kid party just for big kids, too.

Hope waited a minute, trying to decide whether or not she should go ahead and cry.

Next, she sat down on the chair next to me, tossed her hair and said to herself with a voice on the verge of fake crying: It's just a fib. (Sniff.) It's just a fib. (Sniff.) It's just a fib.

Next, she said it with an angry tone: IT'S JUST A FIB! (Grrr.) IT'S JUST A FIB! IT'S JUST A FIB!!

Finally, with a self-confident voice: Mom? It's just...a FIB!

Bravo, my little starlet/drama queen!

Ribbon in the sky

What a picture! Here's the story.

Calm, assertive leadership

Dooce loves Cesar, too.

It's a good article about The Dog Whisperer and explains a little bit about what Cesar Millan does with dogs and their owners. His philosophy really does seem to apply to raising kids and dogs. My friend, Katherine, loaned me her book, Cesar's Way. I'm not even halfway through but I am working hard to at least fake the calm, assertive demeanor that he says is a prerequisite for being an effective pack leader. I have my ups and downs. But if you are looking for inspiration for taking care of dogs or kids, check out The Dog Whisperer.

Roses

More here.

Name change

I'm considering changing the name of this blog today to The Bitchysons, or at least Mrs. Bitchyson and Her Children. I've never felt more bitchy and I am only adding fuel to the fire of constant bickering going on with the kids today. I have no patience for anything today. What is wrong with me?

Think happy thoughts...think happy thoughts...think happy thoughts...think happy thoughts...

(I forgot! Today is 6-6-06. That explains it. Tomorrow will be a better day.)

Monkey chow

I guess I thought monkeys ate a lot of raw vegetables and fruit and the occasional cat or bunny rabbit. But apparently there's such a thing as monkey chow and this guy is going to eat it for a week. I'm there!

Sprinkler time

We always opt for the undercarriage and rocker panel wash. It's worth the extra cost.

That's not a bunny and THAT'S NOT PEGGY!!

Hank: Mom! Peggy's got a bunny in the backyard and it's dead!

Mom goes out the back door armed with a plastic bag with which to dispose of small, unfortunate, dead, teeny-tiny bunny.

EEEEECCCKKKKKAAAAARRRGGHHHHAAACCCKKKK!!!!!!

Mom has heart attack when she sees precious daughter standing in the yard cuddling a 10-pound dead rabbit in her arms like it was her newborn child.

Mom: DROP THAT *!@!^%$ 'BUNNY'!

Hope drops giant rabbit in the grass: THUD. Or perhaps it was more of a WHUMP. I kid you not. It was a HUGE rabbit.

Is it too early for a cocktail?

Kerchoo.

This is me. While I wait for the Claritin to kick in I wonder if a banana coconut frappuccino for breakfast would make me feel better. I bet it would. Before we were married I used to tell Gary that my allergist recommended a lot of chocolate to ease the allergy symptoms. But now I think it might be banana coconut frappuccinos.