Bottom of the 11th

I hate to wake them up to tell them the Twins lost.

It's been a long day.

Thankful it was just a lot of hail

It was LOUD, really loud considering we were hiding out in the basement bathroom when it all came raining down.

Ghost Dog of Golden Valley

Kindergarten number theory

Mom, I know why God invented numbers.

It's so you can be that old.

Friendship

It's friendship

Friendship

Just a perfect blendship!

When other friendships

Have been forgot

Ours will still be hot!

Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle

dig-dig-dig.

Science news

Take your stinking mechanical arms off me, you damn dirty ape!

When movies used to be really, really good

I heard a clip from this on the radio today. I forgot how much I liked this movie.

Hope is wondering if I'm wearing Depends.

Jump

I wish

trampoline

jumping

didn't make

my head hurt

otherwise I

would be

out there

bouncing

before

the storm

gets here.

Vocabulary lesson

Based on what I learned by looking up two words in the dictionary today while reading the news, I've decided that this blog must be my husting for maundering.

Camille Paglia is my vocabulary idol.

Looking for a gift for the person who has everything?

The article says they used to wear it on a chain around the neck.

Wouldn't that be pretty?

Cat Stevens Thursday

I didn't quit my job (see yesterday's post for clarification)

But I did come straight home after work to make ice cream. The problem is that we might have to steal our own dairy cow in order to afford the milk I'm going to need to make ice cream every day this summer.

Yin / Yang

Yesterday goes down as one of the best days of my year so far. Everything went reasonably well -- from making it to an early church service, to a family shopping excursion during which we bought my real Mother's Day gift, an electric ice cream maker!, to a relaxing BBQ with good friends, to a spur-of-the-moment surprise birthday party for a very happy eight-year-old schoolmate.

So why should I be surprised that when I arrived at work today I detected there had been an early morning meeting during which everyone plotted to make me so miserable that I would think about quitting my job?

Well, I thought about it but I didn't quit. So THERE!

Dollar pitcher night

Someone from Coppell TX found the blog by searching for "pitchers of toad habitats." I like my toad habitats by the glass.

Thanks MN but we have our own rule

It does not take a state legislature to tell me it's a dumb idea to let teen drivers drive a car full of teen drivers all over the town. How do I know? That's what I did when I was a teenager. It was dumb then; it's dumb today. Our children will be allowed to drive their friends around town maybe after they get out of the Navy. If they have a car.

What will they dream up next?

Botox for Boobs

May I suggest botox for the wallet and brain?

Ready to mow

Benadryl? Check

Dennis Miller podcast? Check

Poop scooped? Good enough

I'm heading out to mow my first mow of the summer. Prediction? I expect frequent mowing all summer. Last year I don't think we mowed more than once from mid-June to mid-August. Telling myself I'm going to enjoy it...

Festive armpits

In case anyone is wondering why our son has smelled like a Christmas tree this week it's because he has been spritzing himself with this before heading to the bus stop in the morning.

Your semi-weekly piano update

Your semi-weekly Scientology update

Operation Clambake

My hope is that Tom Cruise gets the heck out of there. He's enjoyable to watch in movies but he seems VERY brainwashy. I want to see another movie like Rainman some day.

School mates

Me in 1971

Although it was a little bluer back then the dress has held up really well. That's me wee brother with me.

Happy Mother's Day

I love being a mom. My only regret is that I didn't start my family before my bunions started acting up. But look at David Letterman; he became a father at age 78. He seems to be doing okay.

I also love being a wife to someone who, in addition to many good qualities, tends to give the most unique gifts (or at least gifts that have an interesting story connected to them). Today I received two, beautifully packaged, scented candles that he won yesterday in Bodyflow for holding a perfect isosceles triangle pose. Or so I'm told.

Quality time with his sister

Mom: What's the goal of the game?

Hank: She's having a birthday party; you gotta get everybody to the mall.

Tramp = nothing but fun

The History of Our Ironing Board

I time-traveled again. (See dress in previous post.) Today, after I got home from errands and unloaded the loot from the store, I peeled all of the old ironing board covers off our ironing board. I bought a new one because the old was looking pretty shabby. Do other people not take old covers off when they put new ones on? I had to strip it bare this time to get it to fit. Five seems to be our board's limit. The one on the far left is at least 15 years old.

Old dress

Hope wore my 1970 flower girl dress to school today. My dad sent it to me and I cannot believe how it fits her perfectly. Good timing, Dad!

If we come across any local auditions for a Partridge Family Tribute Band we have one kid who's ready to go!

Animoto

More instant gratification courtesy the internet:

Instant slideshows are nice but I'm still waiting for that dinner-making contraption that Jane Jetson used to have.

Also, teleportation.

Oh boy.

Father with a Minnesota connection. It was in the Star Tribune last week.

mattlogelin.com

East or West?

Shall I go Shall I go?

East or west I do not know

I am lost - all alone

Three-wheel taxi take me home.

I am Pavlov's dog

I detest Burger King. Their food stinks. Their service stinks. Seriously stinks. Yet when we give our kids a fast-food choice Burger King is second only to McDonalds. Who can pass up crown-shaped, deep-fried and pulverized chicken flesh? Not my kids.

But guess what happened after I saw this ad?

All I could think about for two days was, MUST OBTAIN BURGER KING STEAKHOUSE BURGER.  And I did.  And it was delicious.

Okay, I really was a little harsh with my anti-Burger King rant up there above the video. I will eat Burger King food and you really don't have to force me to do it so I guess I can't say I "detest" it. It's gross but edible. Now the old freaky clown/king in the previous ads from Burger King? Now that was something that scared me. These new ads are good and funny.  Way better than freaky king guy.

Tramp

Do you call it a tramp? That's what my brother and I called it. "Let's go jump on the tramp," we'd say. It feels so very 70's to me.

My brother and I lived on our tramp for many, many summers. If we weren't jumping, we were playing Lost in Space and the tramp was our spacecraft, or we were collecting toads in the yard and putting them on it (so they could experience the joy of bouncing too!), or we were sleeping out in sleeping bags with our basset hound, Bentley, all sprawled out with us and our cousins and friends.

There was no net. The only major injury I recall was my broken nose. Mom and Dad had a 2-person rule for jumping. But if we weren't jumping -- if we were sitting and just hanging out -- we were allowed to have a lot more kids on the tramp. I was either in 5th or 6th grade one afternoon and maybe seven of us decided to play a version of tag with the "it" person's eyes closed. I was "it" and was on my hands and knees trying to tag someone when, totally by accident, I was kicked hard in the face. I remember a bloody nose unlike any other. But all in all, good, good times. We're hoping Hank and Hope will enjoy their tramp for as many years as I did mine.

Practicing for summer

I continue to destroy plumbing fixtures in our house

You may remember me writing about the time I cleaned the basement shower and ripped the faucet off the wall. The saga continues. I thought I could save some money by buying some giant bottles of shampoo several days ago but now I'm going to use that money I saved to repair the bath faucet upon which I dropped said giant and weighty bottle of shampoo. I broke it off the wall.

Can you keep a steady beat?

Rhythmic accuracy and IQ

Thanks to shyestviolet for the link to the study.

We survived the school carnival

How much sugar can one kid consume in one day?

Hank told us that he was going to spend all of his tickets on the Soda Pop Ring Toss. (I have seen more than one kid chug a good portion of his liter bottle of pop immediately after winning it in the ring toss game.) Surprisingly, he ended up in the chess room and has decided he wants to become the next Bobby Fischer while all Hope cared about was the possibility of washing down her cotton candy with a refreshing carbonated beverage.

Welcome all you people who googled it

Search Hit of the Day:

"crazy people"

We take that as a compliment here at The Bickersons.

Happy Friday

This is especially for Mr. B. as he prepares himself mentally for the school carnival (but some of you might find it helpful, too):

Meditative Moment

I'm stylish

If I'm getting Poop-Freeze™ for Mother's Day I better be getting the tote that goes with it.

Poop-Freeze™ and Tote

No better way to start the day

Bounce from hanksmom on Vimeo.