Almost worth a trip to Branson, MO. (Almost.)

My mom calls me frequently to inform me about various Oprah topics she thinks might benefit me: Rage-a-holics, Macaroni and Cheese-a-holics, TV-talk-show-a-holics, Poop-talk-a-holics, Bad-Parent-a-holics, etc. I always say "Thanks for letting me know, Mom. That sounds really interesting! I'll be sure to drop working on my plans to cure cancer IMMEDIATELY to see what Oprah has to say about the dangers of eating Jello right after I have my toenails removed."

But Mama knows I kid. I kid the Mama. She called me this week to inform me that THE OSMONDS! were on Oprah. It goes to show that mothers can give LOTS of unwanted advice but you better DAMN WELL pay attention so you don't miss out on the occasional golden suggestion.

I love you, Donny! You too, Mom!