Thursday, September 18, 2014


Surgeon, all ortho staff, football coaches, football players, lacrosse coaches, and others who had (or are familiar with) the same surgery:

"6-8 months careful, slow, steady rehabilitation and recovery after ACL reconstruction."


"You can totally be ready to wrestle in three months. Sooner if you wear a brace and just tell yourself you only have one leg."

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Workout Update

1. Calluses on hands from pull-ups;
2. Bruises on shoulders from squat bar.

The prescribed treatment is a large dose of late-night ice cream. (I prescribed it.)

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Almost One Year

Next month will mark the one year anniversary of my first appointment with YMCA Personal Trainer, Matt Brouse. To say I got my money's worth in bettering my physical and mental well-being by learning from, and being motivated by him would be an understatement. Matt has had a huge positive impact on my life.

Long story short, (and you six readers already know this), I have always battled in the weight department. Although running marathons as an adult helped for a while, I was getting fatter and less happy about life over the last few years. I decided to humble myself and get one-on-one help at the Y.

Not knowing whom to choose for personal training, I threw an imaginary dart and picked Matt from the photo line-up of trainers on the wall of the fitness center. My choice was not completely random; his picture made me think that if Jim Gaffigan and my brother had a love-child, Matt would be that baby. Plus, he called himself "The People's Meathead" in his bio blurb. It made him sound approachable. And funny. There was a slight possibility he was a Communist/Marxist weight lifter, but I hoped not.

Jump to our first meeting. He weighed me. 167! Ugh. And he measured my butt and everything. Fatness everywhere. I figured he had seen it before so I just accepted the situation. The details of the first session are a blur except for the weighing and measuring, which I can play over and over on a video loop in my mind. After that horror, I think he took some baseline fitness measurements like plank time, push-ups, etc., and gave me a plan to return and do some work-out homework in the meantime.

I survived my first personal trainer appointment.

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and a trip to Texas got in the way and I didn't get back to the Y for a while. Nor had I followed through on Matt's homework assignments. I reported this to him. A note at the bottom of the trainer record sheet for my second appointment read, "Noncompliant."

That was the turning point.

I can be (and have been) a failure in a multitude of ways but GODDAMMIT I was not going to be the cause of my own failure this time. I started doing what Matt said. Slowly and steadily I have lost 40 (+/-3) pounds since January by doing the workouts Matt gives me. I can't remember the last time I weighed 125. I'm pretty sure I was in junior high.

It's not just about the body weight. Matt's emphasis is on strength and I am surprised by how much fun it is to lift heavier weights each week and feel strong. He's not surprised. He knows it's fun and I think that's why he is so good at his job. He shares that enthusiasm with clients.

Matt has an inspirational poster on his Facebook page that reads: "I want to inspire people. I want someone to look at me and say, 'Because of you I didn't give up.'"

Well, I'll say it. He inspires me and I'm not quitting or giving up any time soon.

He's helped me make it this far and it's been a blast.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Is this Heaven?

"Field of Dreams" was on again last night. It's so hard to believe that movie was made 25 years ago. It ages well. Or doesn't age. Whatever. It's such a good movie.

And Iowa is a little bit heavenly. Especially at Steve and Nancy's place.

Sunday, June 01, 2014

Confirmation Class 2014

Hank chose Isaiah 41:13 as his confirmation verse:

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

New Wrestling Coach #QOTD

(very excited tone/current wrestler) "... And I think we should work on the brand. We should have robes for the meets. You know - warm-up robes..."

(less excited tone/new coach) "You mean like Apollo Creed?"

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Car Talk

(awestruck tone of voice) "So, today this kid sucked a cookie out of a plastic bag and the bag went down his throat. When he pulled it out it was in the shape of his throat. It was so cool! I don't know how he did it and he must have been able to breathe through his nose because it was in there for awhile!"

(not awestruck tone of voice) "I don't care how cool it was, I did not spend the first 10 years of your life cutting your not-dogs and tofu-pups into microscopic pieces so that you could one day impress your lunch buddies by choking to death."


Sunday, May 11, 2014


taught us to laugh.

And if you can't do that, what's the point? It's the best thing.

Happy Mother's Day to all.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Mooching Another Post from Marcie

I'm linking to Marcie again. I prefer taking pictures over using words to communicate (oh the irony) but I'm not even feeling picture mojo. Winter did its best to beat us to a pulp BUT WE LIVED DAMMMIT! Eff you, Winter. Maybe I'll warm up by July and start feeling more creative. This is hilarious: Better than the Wet Sock

Saturday, February 15, 2014


I think this is the last match for the season for Hank. We are so happy he's found a winter sport that he enjoys. He didn't win this one (he only won a few this season) but he has learned a lot and had a lot of fun. Can't wait until next year.

2014 Team Sectionals from hanksmom on Vimeo.

Sunday, February 09, 2014

Caught in a Compromising Position

Investigating shouting sounds coming from basement:

Me: "What's that hold called?

The choke-ee: "It's called 'The Strangle-Hold' and it's very illegal. I'm getting penalty points up the wing-wang."

Last Dual Meet

We're going to have to find a new hobby with the end of wrestling season approaching. It's been a lot of fun.

Saturday, December 14, 2013


Last week, in his first ever wrestling tournament, Hank was pinned by a guy, pinned a girl, pinned two guys. The matches lasted less than one period. A LOT less.

He wrestled same age-kids in a JV tournament yesterday in the Wisconsin Dells and the outcome was a bit better. He sent me a late night email that contained more than one exclamation point. That is some out-of-the-ordinary emoting coming from that kid.

Today he gets to enjoy the varsity tournament and cheer on his teammates. Later, water park fun.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Sunday, December 08, 2013

"Always Be Prepared" or, "I am Not Boy Scout Material"

I ran out of contact lenses today and had to wear glasses to church. Could only find an older pair that had very recently been gnawed by The Duke. Not only were my frames chipped and chewed, the prescription was old to boot.

I tried to not make eye contact with anyone at church.

Sunday, December 01, 2013

Do not read this post if you are offended by the f-bomb.

This is a rough draft and I'm stuck on the title.

"The Day the Dogs Ran Away and Onto I-394"

"The Day the Motherfucking Dogs Ran Away and Ended up on Motherfucking I-394"

"Thanksgiving 2013: The Day I Hurled the F-Bomb at a Perfect Stranger"

"Open Letter to the Lady on Xenia Who Rolled Her Window Down to Yell, 'YOU THINK THE FUCKING RED LIGHTS DON'T APPLY TO YOU,' When I Burned Through the Red Light at Golden Hills Drive Because There Was Zero Traffic at the Intersection and I was Racing to Save My Motherfucking Dogs Who Ran Away and Ended up on Motherfucking I-394; I'm Not Sorry I Yelled Back at You, 'HAPPY FUCKING THANKSGIVING.'"

"Thanksgiving 2013: What Kind of Maniac Would Quit Drinking on a Thanksgiving Holiday?"

"Thanksgiving 2013: What Kind of Idiot Would Quit Drinking on a Thanksgiving Holiday, Especially One in Which Her Motherfucking Dogs Ran Away and Ended up on Motherfucking I-394?"

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving Eve

If you like Christmas, music, Christmas music, dogs, and Walk Off the Earth, have I found a video for you:

Saturday, November 09, 2013


Are you feeling down in the dumps? Do you suffer from seasonal affective disorder? Do you ever get cranky and start to feel sorry for yourself? Watch THIS VIDEO at least every day. Twice, if necessary.