(awestruck tone of voice) "So, today this kid sucked a cookie out of a plastic bag and the bag went down his throat. When he pulled it out it was in the shape of his throat. It was so cool! I don't know how he did it and he must have been able to breathe through his nose because it was in there for awhile!"
(not awestruck tone of voice) "I don't care how cool it was, I did not spend the first 10 years of your life cutting your not-dogs and tofu-pups into microscopic pieces so that you could one day impress your lunch buddies by choking to death."