We had family plans to go to the Minnesota State Fair (also known as Not The Iowa State Fair) after Gary and I put in our hours at work yesterday.
After work, we gathered as a family to discuss our plans and what we each hoped to accomplish by visiting the fair. Hank's goal was to avoid all rides. Gary's goal was to avoid all people and crowds. Hope's goal was to find ice cream and ride rides. My goal was to meander about the fairgrounds without the feeling of pressure that 50% of my family didn't want to be there. I also wanted to see my summer speech pathology colleague/knitting savant's hat.
Long story short, (which I realize should be the subheading of this blog because, I'll be honest, I lose patience in trying to cleverly and clearly write for you what I think you ought to know about my life)...
Anyhoo, (subheading number two), Gary and Hank elected to do a father-son outing at the driving range. Hope and I were FAIRGROUNDS-BOUND!
Observation #1: The Minnetonka O-Line might be big and strong and ready for football but they are not chivalrous. Not one of the big guys got up to give their seat to a lady on a packed bus to the fairgrounds. The backs of their shirts were funny though: "FAT KIDS ARE HARDER TO KIDNAP."
Observation #2: Thank God my OB did not hook me up to a winch to facilitate the birthing process and then replay the birth video over and over in a sweaty, stinky, "Miracle of Birth" barn. Hope saw a goat give birth on video and said to me, "That's it. I'm NEVER petting a goat AGAIN."
Observation #3: There were 10 million more people at the fair than the fairgrounds has room to accommodate. Good luck avoiding sweaty elbow contact with sweaty strangers.
Observation #4: Many people at the fair seemed to have the same look on their face that I had, which was, "Why am I here?"
Observation #5: Cheese curds are a delicious way to shorten your lifespan by both waiting in line for cheese curds and actually eating them.