God help me.
Gary and I are trying to watch Three Wishes (the sappiest show on TV) with my mother.
My mom: I can't hear it, can't you turn that damn TV up? You people. There's NO light in this house, NO volume on the TV. HOW IN THE SAM HILL DO YOU LIVE IN MINNESOTA?? AND IT'S COOOOLLLLDD IN HERE!! DON'T YOU PEOPLE PAY YOUR HEATING BILL??
Gary (trying to be accommodating): Here, Judy, I will turn up the volume for ya.
(Our ears are bleeding now.)
Mom: Well that's not enough I can't hear it.
Me: Well, Mom, maybe you should think about seeing an audiologist. You know they have one at Costco.
Mom: ARE YOU GONNA LOAN ME $2000.00? YOU KNOW IT COSTS $2000.00 AN EAR!
Then Hope runs up from the basement and says, "Grandma! Aren't you gonna read me and Hank a story?" And Gary and I picture ourselves 30 years from now yelling at Hank and Hope to turn up the TV and turn up the heat because we can't hear it and we're too cold.
Grandma Ju Ju, we love you.