Saturday, April 22, 2006

Audition

85 minutes to go. I'm trying out for a choir this afternoon. Hank gave me his special brand of encouragement. He said he likes it better when I play the piano and don't sing. Thanks, Hank. Now I have a new weapon in the behavior management tool box. Guess who's going to have to listen to his mom sing during time-outs from now on?

Anyway, I have a mantra that I will be repeating in my head during the audition and it goes like this:

Don't barf until it's over;
Don't barf until it's over;
Don't barf until it's pver;
Don't barf until it's over!


UPDATE:

It's over and I didn't barf! Hooray for Mrs. Bickerson keeping her food down! Right after the audition I went out to my car and wrote down exactly what the judges said to me so I could share it with you. This is word-for-word...

Randy said

Yo, yo, yo Dogg! Yo W-Dogg. Here's what we got. It was a little pitchy, man. It started out kind of in tune and then, man, I don't know what happened. It was a little pitchy. And dude, was that your vibrato? 'Cause, man, I'm just tellin' you like it is, that was not good. It sounded to me like your larynx was having a seizure. Dogg, I want to but I can't, I just can't say you're in the Doggpound, dude. Sorry man.

And then Paula said

Whitney, oh Whitney! Look at you! You are ADORABLE! I just want to give you a big hug because of all of your adorablessness. I mean adorableness. Not less. You...you are so adorable. And you know we are going to love you no matter what.

And then Simon

Look. Whitney. If I were to characterize the performance you just gave I would have to say it reminded me of a drunken great-grandmother singing in an airport karaoke bar. I'm just tryyying to criticize you constructively. But it was beyond horrible.

,

3 comments:

  1. Yeah, that's why I like doing music for Christians - they're much more forgiving. A couple of weeks ago, while talking about an Alpha program we've been helping out with, a FORMER (not really) friend said "your guitar playing is good." Thanks, Bruce. Your silence speaks volumes.

    Actually, I think that just a willingness to perform music is enough in most cases. My opinion is that if people work at it less, and work at it in the proper fashion, nearly everyone can sing well enough. Too many people just have hang-ups about it.

    You probably did just fine - if they didn't like it, then it just wasn't the right group for you. Their loss.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think that it was said best in Wayne's World:

    Garth Algar: Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl?
    Wayne Campbell: I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.

    If you puke and they still take you, that says a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That is too funny Whit. I knew there was a good reason to watch that show.

    No really...how did it go?

    ReplyDelete