Use you imagination:
1. The Water Park of America is probably responsible for 50% of the hearing loss in the Midwest since 2006. Holy frijoles, it is LOUD in there.
2. Exhibitionists or victims of swim top malfunction? There was a large crowd of people watching the surf ride (they call it the "Flow Ride") in the water park. The lifeguards have a tall stack of towels to drape across the chests of girls wiping out on the surf. How dumb (or exhibitionistic) do you have to be to realize that there is a 90% chance of your top coming off (unless you happen to be a professional surf-boarder) when you fall off your boogie board??
3. Hope has inherited her father's devil-may-care attitude when it comes to tube slides from 10-stories high. Hank has inherited his mother's attitude of there is no good reason for any human being to be persuaded to hurl herself through a tube of water that involves G-forces of unknown intensity.
4. This was Hank on March 17, 2000.
5. This was Hank having a little chat with the OB.
Happy Birthday, Hank! We love you with all our hearts!